Religious Holidays, chocolate, and I'm going to Hell.

I'm the first person to admit that if there IS a hell, I'll be working on my tan down there, hanging with Hitler, chillin' with Caesar.. I'm sure there'll be heaps of interesting people and where there's people there's food and goddamn do I love me a good buffet. 

I do lots of things that would earn me my room down there. I'm 25, unmarried and living with two guys. The last time I saw the inside of a church was one that had been refurbished into a Pancake Manor. I spend hours on my appearance every week. I have a massive online presence and am incredibly self aware. I don't donate to charity as often as I could or should. The list goes on and on.. However, I feel like the absolute coup de grace has to do with religious holidays and the way I choose to celebrate them. As such -- for ease of access [assuming the G man exists and wants a bit of a cheat sheet] -- I figured I'd share with my audience the way I celebrate the [few] religious holidays I even know about.

1. Easter [and thus inspiration for this post]. Easter has something to do with Jesus becoming a Zombie in a cave as far as I know and as far as I know there wasn't ANY chocolate involved [Zombies eat brains not bunnies, duh] and yet my method of celebrating this holiday is by gorging myself on Cadbury Creme Eggs and eating bunnies ears-first. Depending on the year I'll also add in a generous sleep in [not this year though, Top 100 Songs of the 90s!!].. which I feel MIGHT redeem me, since before Jesus apparently became a Zombie he was dead.. and death is kinda like sleeping.. right? Winner?

2. Christmas. I know a little bit more about the religious side of Christmas but I'd be lying if I said 90% of my knowledge didn't come from Christmas Carols I heard The Wiggles singing during Carols in the Domain. So apparently, baby Jesus was born in a stable because Mary and Joseph didn't book ahead and just expected there to be a room available on Christmas Eve. I mean, really? Anyway, some old dudes came and gave some super weird gifts [what the hell even IS Merr?], a little drummer boy played his drum [which I don't understand EITHER because every baby I've ever met has been super sensitive to noise, not to mention new mothers who are a whole nother species as far as I can tell].. and yeah, that's about it.

As far as I can tell we're supposed to go to Church Christmas Eve [or that's what was happening in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, anyway..], then again Christmas morning, and then again later in the day.  We're supposed to pray and eat bread and sing songs and spend time with family.

Now, what ACTUALLY happens is that I spend months leading up to Christmas spending money I can't really afford on presents, gift wrapping them for vanity sake, planning my outfit and makeup [also for vanity sake]. I watch Carols in the Domain Christmas Eve [which I guess is kinda like Church so maybe a winner there], I wake up and eat bacon and eggs and then open/give presents. Once I've made a huge mess of the living room, I take a nap til lunch when I wake up, gorge myself some more, get drunk and .. honestly the rest of every Christmas since I was 18 is a blur so I'm not sure what happens after that point.

Welp.

I just spent 10 minutes sitting here trying to think of another religious holiday and while I'm sure they exist I can't remember any, so lets just say that if there ARE any I probably abuse them in much the same manner as the above.

In conclusion, assuming there is a G-man, and a Hell. I'd like a room with a view, and if possible I'd prefer not to have to share with anyone. Thanks in advance!

xx. A.

Everything else.

The problem with having a public 'diary' is that the public see it [funny that]. It becomes a place to share photos, and funny anecdotes, maybe let your family know how you're doing without having to contact them all individually.. but it really does stop being a place to tell the truth on every level.

I'm mad at someone. I've been mad at this someone for a long time, but the last few days in particular have made me significantly more upset. I feel justified in my anger, I believe with all my heart that they are in the wrong and I am in the right. But I respect this person [maybe not respect, misplaced loyalty perhaps?] too much to call them out on a public platform and so I'm going to write about something else, instead.

It's 2011! I want to be the kind of person who believes in a new year being a whole new beginning -- giving me the chance to be a whole new person, but lets face it, I'm far to cynical for that kind of behavior. I'm not the kind of person who makes new years resolutions but given what I've been through and the things I have overcome in the last 6 months or so, I really feel like a few changes would do me a world of good. Maybe not new years resolutions -- more like, "beat cancer and that scared the shit out of me and I've realised I'm not actually invincible and life doesnt go forever" resolutions.. or BCATSTSOOMAIRINAIALDGF resolutions for short. haha.

BCATSTSOOMAIRINAIALDGF Resolutions -- 01/01/2011, 3:11am.

- I will read more [books, computer stuff doesn't count].
- I will spend more time with the people I love.
- I will spend less time worrying about people who 'should' care not caring.
- I will get more sunshine!
- I will eat better, exercise more, and in general respect my body.
- I will pay off my mountain of debt.
- I will not complain about not having any 'play' money while paying off my mountain of debt.
- I will cut unnecessary bad influences from my life - people, objects and addictions.

There's a few more but they're mostly sort-of repeats or personal, so they'll be quietly filed away under "LOL SIF ANYONE CARES ANYWAY".

In unrelated news I just returned from almost a week in paradise.  Ok, not quite paradise - but pretty damned close. I was staying with my Dad in the Hunter Valley and I swear, he should start charging for accomodation - his house is like a resort.. Pool [the swimming kind], darts, pool table [the kind you're normally drunk while you play], gorgeous views, the whole nine yards..  I did very little more than lounge around by the pool, eat delicious food that I didn't cook [haha yay!], hang out with my brothers, play scrabble and read, for the entire week I was there.. so so good. =]

Here are a few pictures -- the week was really too great to ruin with words.

Anyway that's more than enough for tonight,
xx. A.

Whinging.

So it's 3:25am and I'm sitting at my computer watching House, pretending it isn't Christmas.

I'm trying to be upbeat because tomorrow I have to go face a bunch of people who are happy about the day it is, but honestly I'd just prefer to skip the day entirely and go right on to getting up at 4am the NEXT day so I can spend 4 hours travelling and see my family.

It's horrible because I know they're trying to hard to make it a nice day, but it really just isn't the same and being around a bunch of people who are happy and trying to pretend to be happy as well is just going to make it 10x as bad, I can already tell.

I know I should be thankful because these people don't need to include me in their festivities, and I appreciate the thought. I guess just being away from my brothers in particular the last few Christmases has really gotten to me.. Boxing day can't come soon enough. =]

xx. A.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.. ?

It's been a bit over a week since I last blogged and I wish I could say it's because I've been off exploring the world, enjoying my days of non-radiation, going to the beach and just having fun.. but honestly, I've been sleeping. I'm so exhausted and I just have no energy to do anything.. I stumble from bed to my desk or the bathroom and I'm already SPENT. It's incredible. I'm working tomorrow so we'll see how that goes, but honestly even with the money in mind I am not looking forward to it at all.

I really did think once I stopped having treatments and it was over, everything would just go back to normal and life would officially be easy again.. how wrong I was. haha! I had a check out today and my doctor said I could expect this to span anywhere between 6 and 12 months and to aim for atleast TWELVE hours of sleep a day.. yeesh.

I'm not complaining though, I know my body is in recovery mode and I'm both grateful and awed that I made it to this point. So, I'll be patient for as long as I can, but Santa if you're out there I'd really love to be healthy for Christmas! Either that, or a MacBook Pro! You know, whatever's easier.

Speaking of Christmas people are finally starting to receive my cards, so if you haven't received yours yet be on the look out over the next few days! I was starting to worry because I sent them out well over 2 weeks ago now, and even with the silly season going on that's just ridiculous.

I'm going to aim to do another Project: Writers [Un]Block post this week, as I'm finally starting to feel the creative juices flowing again now that I'm not getting zapped again on a daily basis, and I've been writing a "people I know" post too which should go up in the next day or two!

Anyway I'm going to cut this short because I really don't have much to say, just wanted to let you all know I'm alive and kicking [more or less].

xx. A.

Really Freaking Awesome Stuff™ - Part 2.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! ... And while I'm going to be having a broke-ass one, I also lived to see it -- so I'm fairly excited about it. I've been making Christmas cards and listening to terrible Christmas albums, and even I'm putting up my tree today! All in all, I'm feeling very full of the holiday spirit [which is hilarious because not ONE week ago I was a huge grinch].

I feel like it's the perfect time for me to do another Really Freaking Awesome Stuff™ post because people are looking for stuff to get for family, or to ask family for! And also I love window shopping, so there is that. Most of the items on this list are inspired by or from Shanalogic -- basically the most adorable store ever. Anyway, lets get to it!

The first thing I found I think would be more suited to the winter months or someone who doesn't live in Freaking Hot Queensland but it's adorable all the same and definitely merits a mention. It's the Dead Kitty Sleep Mask, by Le Neko Noir - omg Squee so cute!

I can just imagine crawling into bed in some cuddly flannell PJs, pulling this baby down over your eyes and falling immediately to sleep. Does that make me super morbid? It just feels like Nightmare Before Christmas crossed with Hello Kitty and these are both things I'm obsessed with, so naturally I'm in love.

The next one really speaks to childhood-me and brings back memories of spending hours on the floor building spaceships and castles and god knows what else [and also memories of stepping on pieces in the middle of the night -- oh my god OW!]. It's the adorable Retro Block Heart Necklace, by SapphireSquares. It comes in red or black but I definitely think the red is way cuter. I also really like that it's on a silver chain -- anyone who has known me for long enough to buy me jewellery will tell you that I think gold looks tacky.. so yah.. Adorable!

Speaking of things that really speak to childhood-me, I think this Happy Rain Cloud Pocket Mirror would be fantastic for any teenage girl relatives [hey I'm 25 and I'd definitely keep it in my bag for makeup touchups and whatnot] you might have, it's so cute and at only $6USD incredibly affordable. This is from the default Shana Logic line.

Another thing I think would be suited to people who don't live in OhMyGodHowIsItSoFreakingHot Queensland but deserves to be here anyway are these adorable Pink Stripey Armwarmers by MTcoffinz. They come in a load of different colours I just prefer the pink ones. I'm a big believer in wearing layers during winter and this would add a perfect little pop of colour to even the dullest wardrobe.

Slightly more expensive and definitely not along the same line, I've been eyeing off the Apple iPad recently. I have an iPhone so some of the services it can offer are fairly redundant, but I still think it would make a perfect gift for almost anyone. The idea of an 'electronic book' has always been an appealing one to me and unfortunately the iPhone screen is simply too small to perform that task effectively, and given that you can get a freaking PIMPED OUT one [64gb with case, keyboard and dock, and insurance] for less than $1000AUD I think it's fantastic value. Also, it's just so pretty. @_@

For myself I think I'd probably prefer just to save for a little bit longer and get the 15" MacBook Pro but I don't think the iPad should be dismissed altogether as a cheaper alternative that can perform most of the same tasks [gaming aside].

I could do this all day, random online windowshopping, but I'm off to the hospital! Today marks the 1-week-until-I-finish-Radiation point so I'm actually really excited to go and get it over with. Happy Christmas shopping to you all and don't forget, if you'd like a Christmas Card from yours truly just leave a comment with your home address [comments are screened so nobody else will see this]. Yay!

xx. A.

No News is Good News.

It's been a while since I've made a blog post [actually, my last few have been pretty poor excuses for blogs] but coming toward the end of my radiation [I finish on Friday the 10th.. so close!] I'm really just so tired. By the time I drag myself in and out of the city everyday I've spent more energy than my body really has to offer. On top of that - as you might recall - I'm recovering from a fairly nasty chest infection which is taking its sweet time going the heck away.

My doctor is fairly happy with my progress and we're doing checkups every second day now to see where I'm at.. which is fantastic because it means 6 hours at a hospital.. yayy..

Life isn't all bad though, I recently had my eyes checked [they were terrible] and thanks to a very generous man in my life was able to get contact lenses, which is something I've dreamed about since I was 15. Don't get me wrong, I definitely think I suit glasses -- I look weird without them to be honest -- but there's a time and a place for them. Things like going out clubbing, swimming, anything where you're hot and sweaty, these are all things you can't really do with glasses as they'll end up getting smudgy or fogged up or smacked against your face by some random drunk person [trust me it happens] and breaking.. I don't plan on wearing them all the time [I got new glasses as well] but I'll definitely be making use of them on weekends or special events, things like that. 

My Christmas Card project is going fairly well. I'm 21 in and still powering on.. You'd never think it was that big a deal, but I'm really not a "real life" social person. Like, I love Facebook and Twitter and email and all that jazz simply because there's no real EFFORT involved.. haha I'm so lazy. If you'd like to receive one of these cards, by the way, feel free to leave a comment with your address -- comments will be screened so nobody but me will see it.

Speaking of Internet, the newest World of Warcraft expansion pack comes out very shortly so I've been dabbling there a bit. I had, for the most part, quit, but the idea of new content and the overall cheapness of entertainment always draws me back in so I'm waiting with baited breath just like 1643894234 million others.

I guess that's really all I have. I haven't been blogging much because honestly, not much has been happening, I'm slowly dragging myself back to health and that requires a whole lot of sleep on my part. Once I'm feeling better I guess this blog will mean something new, it'll mean I made it and it'll be a record of it happening.. but I'm hoping to keep it going and work on the various projects I've started -- P:WuB, People I know, Really Freaking Awesome Stuff™, etc. Anyway stay safe and be happy, I'll be napping! <3

xx. A.

I love presents.

Hello, hello! Just a quick post to say how much I love the Australian Cancer Council and how thankful I am [though it isn't thanksgiving here in Australia] to have their support and love as I make this journey. Every week I go to group therapy sessions which are basically a bunch of us getting together and sharing our experiences, bitching and having a laugh.. It's fantastic and honestly, it's one of the reasons I was able to make it through this whole thing [only 2 weeks of radiation to go!!].

Anyway, yesterday we were all given these huge gift bags for Christmas with candies, chocolate, cards, stickers, bon bons, a random Christmas CD, candy canes, a gift voucher for $150 for groceries.. It was honestly just SO thoughtful and made me so happy.

I'm not usually the kind of person who sends Christmas cards, and in particular this year I had thought I'd be a bit of a Grinch [I'm flat broke and away from my family].. but, inspired by a gorgeous friend of mine, I've decided to make use of the gifts I was so generously given, so I've decided to send Christmas cards this year! If you would like to be a recipient, please either email me [amyluvs AT gmail DOT com] or post a reply to this.. Comments are screened so nobody else will see it - don't worry!

Like I said, just a quick one. Give me your addresses so I can get started!!

xx. A.