+ A single, undeniable fact.

Darn tooten.

xx. A.

Memories.

So, I was sitting on twitter earlier (I know, shocking), and there's this fantastic #TAG going on at the moment called the best friends tag. I started to do it but it was spamming a whole lot (which is saying something coming from me, TRUST).. so I decided to do it on my blog.

Anyway, about 10 minutes in I got super bored so I deleted the whole thing and instead I will tell you a story.

A long long time ago, when I was about 18? And James was a year younger than me I guess, we lived together in a very small "bedroom" (it was actually a garage). We thought we were super cool in our own little.. Bachelor[ette] pad, I guess?  It was really quite lame and I am super ashamed even looking at the pictures but I'm going to share some.. just because.

We painted the whole thing white with the intention of doing "Graffiti Art" on the walls, to kind of make the room punk-rock (we were both going through an Avril/punk/aahhh rebellion stage, and both had dyed black hair, dark eyeliner and bracelets upto our elbows).. about two seconds in to the very first "artwork" it became very clear that neither of us are Graffiti Artists, and so we decided instead to cover it in posters.

Anyway, one day we were sitting on our computers (which were literally feet from one another), listening to music, when I turned to him and said "Nach [my nickname for him and his for me], get on MSN I need to talk to you" ... it really didn't occur to either of us that this was unusual in any way whatsoever until much, much later. We also had a couch (which you can sort of see in the forefront of the picture above) which was magical, named "The Couch Bin" and would sometimes produce Coke or any other beverage that you expressed desire for. It was amazing.

I guess that's all, except I <3 and miss my Nachboo. <3 <3 <3 BFF. .. even in terrible webcam photos where I'm eating your face off! Aaaahhh we were so young!! <3

xx. A.

Magical Teleporting Teeth. You read it right. MAGIC.

So, for the first time in god only knows how long, I went to the dentist yesterday. Dentists are people I've always had a weird sort of fear of, not because of the drills or the yanking of teeth or the weird gloves and face masks.. just because I always feel like they're judging me. Better than me because I might forget to brush before bed, and because I don't really understand flossing [though I try, valiantly!] and it really does seem like such a simple concept but seriously HOW the FUCK does it work? And god knows why else.

Anyway this fear led to years and years of me avoiding them and getting more and more fearful because of course, the longer I didn't go, the worse I thought my teeth were getting. I was quite literally shaking while sitting in the waiting room.

Enter Trent the Dentist. Trent the Dentist was the nicest, most laid back [and yet professional - you don't want a casual dentist fucking with your teeth in the same way you don't want a casual beautician waxing your girly bits] guy I've met in a super long time. For one, obviously, he asked me to call him by his first name. He was super friendly and made a bunch of stupid jokes that made me feel instantly more comfortable, and on top of that, he seemed to have a genuine love for what he was doing and took the time to explain it as he went, so there was no scary instruments or fingers coming at me out of the blue.

Basically it was the greatest medical experience I've had in my life, and lets face it, I've had a damned lot of those. 

Anyway meeting Trent the Dentist was not the greatest part of this visit. Finding out that I have MAGICAL FUCKING TEETH was the greatest part. Magical Teeth, you ask, how can teeth be magical, Amy? Well, dear reader, let me explain. The last time I saw a dentist was because my wisdom teeth were starting to break through and were pressing on my back teeth and causing me a HUGE amount of pain. However, old-dentist was freaking expensive and I couldn't afford to have them removed, so he just gave me a pain prescription and I went on my merry way, drinking liberally to make the meds work faster/better.

5 or so years later I go to meet Trent the Dentist and he asks about my wisdoms. I mention I think they went back down because they hadn't caused me any trouble in ages, he looks confused and orders an xray. Xray completed... MY WISDOM TEETH ARE GONE. VANISHED. LITERALLY NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. Magical teleporting teeth. Trent the Dentist even ordered additional Xrays and an OCG [whatever that is] under the assumption that maybe the first one had missed something. Nope. I just have MAGICAL FUCKING TEETH. My wisdom teeth teleported from my head -- I don't know where to -- maybe they're living it up on a beach in Hawaii somewhere right now, talking about the old days when they'd torture me while I tried to sleep.

And you thought YOU were cool.. Psh. 

xx. A.

The Perfect Man.

So I'm staying at a friends house while I try to figure out what to do with myself, and she's currently on a 2 week cruise [I know, right? Some people live in fantasy worlds!]. I don't really like being alone, I'm scared of the dark and it's not really a place I'm comfortable in yet, so I've been watching lots of Movies/TV in place of reading, simply because the background noise makes me more comfortable.

Anyway yesterday I watched "The Ugly Truth" which - aside from having Izzy [or Katherine Heigl or whatever her real name is] playing YET another character who is essentially EVERY OTHER CHARACTER SHE HAS EVER PLAYED - was not an altogether waste of time. I quite literally laughed out loud at various points which rarely happens with movies or TV [I admit it, my lol's are usually exaggeration].  The character Izzy plays is a neurotic control freak and has a list of traits a man must possess in order for her to be interested. I'm far from a neurotic control freak but I thought it was an interesting idea, not only that but one of my high school journals contained a similar list so I thought it was probably time to update that!

Please keep in mind that none of this is targeted at anyone. The commentary is generalised and if you're reading through thinking "oh my god is she talking about me?! does she think I'm pathetic?!" the answer is no, I'm not talking about you but if you continue to be so paranoid, then maybe, I might think you're pathetic. =P



The Perfect [or at least datable] Partner

1. Be smart. I'm not the brightest crayon in the box but I need someone who is both intelligent and educated. Things like the differences between "your" and "you're", and "there", "their" and "they're" MATTER. Oh and for the LOVE of god, be well spoken. Accents make me go on a murderous rage. I know you can't help where you were born, but the word is "driving" not "drivin", "MonDAY" not "Mundee" and "my" not "me" [except the obvious times when it's 'me'.. but still, you get my point].

2. Have a sense of humour similar to my own. The only place I should ever need to censor myself is at work - and honestly, even THAT blows. I don't want someone I need to 'behave' around or someone who won't get my particular brand of 'lols'.

3. Non smoker, non coffee drinker. Unfortunately this is mandatory. The smell of both of these make me think of my childhood, and frankly, nauseous.

4. Be headed somewhere. Career vs Job. I don't have a problem with someone slumming it in their teens or while they finish uni. But I think there comes a point where you need to make an active decision to become an adult and move into "career" mode. I don't want to rent my house forever, and my future partner working at Woolworth's as a trolley boy is something that would hold me back from actualising that dream. [I feel like I shouldn't have to say it, but have a full time job - I don't want or need someone to support me, but I don't expect to need to support you, either. Not only that but what kind of example are you setting by living at home and letting your parents support you? How do I know you CAN be a man if you've never done anything but be a child?].

5. Have GOALS. I don't care if it's to own your own business, build a house, have a family, build a time machine.. whatever. But be working toward something. I want someone who thinks beyond "work, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep, get drunk on weekend".

6. Have similar interests to my own. No relationship will last if the only common ground you have is the sex.

7. On that note, don't suck at the sex part. Sorry, but if I'm tying myself to someone for the rest of my life, this is important.

8. Be independent. I want a partner, not a child. Of course I want to spend time with you, but I want to know that if I don't feel like going out one weekend you'll just go out with friends or find something else to do, rather than raging up and pouting at me.

9. Be confident. Not jerk level confident - just, "confident and sexy" confident. Whiney needy people are the opposite of appealing.

10. Be understanding of my dysfunction. I'm crazy, I admit it now. I have all kinds of flaws and double standards. I'm willing to try and work on them, but sometimes there's not a lot I can do to contain my crazy, so you need to make a few allowances.



I'm sure as soon as I submit that I'll think of 10 more things to add to that list, or to edit into pre-existing traits. But anyway, Amy out!

xx. A.

People I know - #3.

If you were to see me and my dad together today there's a few things you might not believe. For instance, we clashed a lot when I was younger. He had problems with alcohol and anger management and I was an obnoxious teenager who didn't know when to stop pushing. It came to a head when I was about 16. It was probably one of the scariest events of my life. 

The thing is, I think it was a wake up call for him. He started going to meetings and he tried SO HARD to get me to forgive him. And for a long time I couldn't -- I couldn't even look at him without bursting into tears. It was hard. But he kept trying. I pushed him away and I called him names and he KEPT trying. We slowly started to develop something of a relationship again, but I ended up moving away - first 8 hours away, and then to another country. We didn't talk much, for a long while.

At some point he and mum broke up [and eventually divorced] and -- to my shock -- he kept trying. Something most people wouldn't know is that he's not my biological dad. When he and mum separated I honestly thought his will to rebuild our relationship would just disappear. I was so wrong and when I count my blessings I count my BIGGEST blessing that my idiot father Steven was stupid enough to let me go so that I could be lucky enough to end up a dad like mine.

When I came back from America my dad was there for me. From that day onward he has been my ROCK. From taking me in and letting me stay with him, rent free, for as long as it took for me to put my life together.. to buying me shoes because I had none, to taking me to Doctors appointments when my health started to fall apart.. To hugging me and telling me that the world wasn't going to fall apart because my ex boyfriend didn't love me anymore. 

This is the man who has moved my entire house, almost single handedly, 3 times now -- and once across state lines in a 27 hour round trip with no sleep. The man who flew me home so I wouldn't be away from my family for the holidays.  This is the man who I could hear holding back tears when I told him I had been diagnosed with cancer -- who immediately told me to come home and he would take care of everything. When I refused to come home and insisted on staying put, this is the man who called me almost every second day to check I was ok.

This is the man who -- when the floods happened a few weeks ago -- was on the phone to me the minute he found out I might be in danger. Who demanded I SMS him the moment I finally get home, when I was stranded in the city. This is the man who has always offered to help, before he even really knew what was wrong.

This is my dad. My amazing dad. All these years later I look back and I think to myself, the rough start was worth it. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy, it's never fast. We have a fantastic relationship and I love this man more than any other person on the planet. My dad was worth the work.

I love you daddy.

xx. A.

People I know - #2.

So a long, long time ago I started this supposed 'series' during which I would describe the people in my life. The idea was that I would give a description and not a name [though my first and only attempt I gave away], maybe once a week or fortnight, of someone who means something to me. Anyway this is my second [third, technically, though I kept my last one set to private for fear of repercussions from the person in question] attempt.

Person #2

Person 2 makes me want to get a dog. I'm not really sure I can explain the reasoning behind it, but I always come away from our conversations wishing I had a puppy. Riddle me THAT.

Person 2 is an old soul. Someone who -- I imagine -- would have made a fantastic Knight of Solamnia.
He is the kind of person who will readily lend a jacket, open a door, or forfeit his seat to a lady in his company.
He is someone I share many an interest with. From tastes in books, to movies, food, ways to spend an evening, the list goes on and on.

He is someone who is very determined, often to the point of being stubborn -- but I did mention that we were quite alike, so that makes a lot of sense, really.
He possesses an incredible strength of will that I am utterly in awe of.
Person 2 - in many ways - reminds me of a mother grizzly bear. He is fiercely protective of those he loves, to the point of being scary from an outsiders point of view. He will fight to the death in order to preserve those who mean the most to him. Also, he's cranky when he first wakes up, and he's built for bear-hugs!

Person 2 is your typical newspaper 'love connection' cliche. While he is not - strictly speaking - an outdoorsman, he enjoys romantic walks by the beach, picnics in the park, wandering hand-in-hand at sunset with no particular destination in mind.
He believes in marriage, happily-ever-afters.
I honestly think that people who don't know him quite so well as I wouldn't see that. He's a private person when it comes to matters of the heart -- or at least that is my understanding of him.
He believes in honour and above all, respect.

I'll never forget Person 2 trying to give me tech support. I can't even remember what was broken at the time, all I remember is that he knew what he was saying, and I knew what I was saying, but somehow the two never met. It makes me grin, every time.
Person 2 is someone I've known a long time, and someone who I immensely disliked at the beginning of our relationship. It's strange, really, how fine the line between friends and enemies can be.

xx. A.

People I know - #1.

Inspired by a random facebook post I have decided to write a series about the people in my life. And honestly, it might end up only being one or two posts before I get bored, uninspired or just lazy about the project, but it's something I find fairly interesting for the moment so.. yeah!

I might not always name the people I'm writing about either for privacy sake or because I don't want to offend them, or other reasons, but atleast the first 3 I've got in my head are fairly obvious and will be easily guessed by anyone who plays a large part in my life, I suspect.

I won't be writing these in any particular order. Person 1 is no more important to me than Person 2 (well, they might be but I'm not writing these by order of importance, anyway) it's simply the order I could think of something to write about them.

Person #1

Person 1 is the bravest, most amazing person I know.
He is fierce like Beyonce, smart like Sheldon, inspired like Gaga, and unforgettable like Madonna.
He is The Catalyst.
It feels as though, even in situations that are not completely in his favour, he always knows he will come out on top and has confidence in his ability to make the situation work for him. This confidence and self control (and too - control over his surroundings) is something I have always envied.

My first memory of Person 1 is playing in a small, unoccupied lot, pretending to be various characters from Warhammer together. I was the Everqueen (oh god, lol) and I built bridges of ice over the rocky landscape to make our path easier. I don't remember what he was, I'm sorry, but I remember he had a cloak and that made me giggle.
I know that we knew eachother for years before that memory, but for the life of me I cannot remember anything before he meant the world to me.
I remember having ridiculous, shameful obsessions growing up. Final Fantasy, Pokemon, Zelda, GoldenEye, Musical artists I will not name even to this day. And I remember it being okay between the two of us... and our extreme attempts to hide it from the rest of the world. haha!

Person 1 inspired me to go back to school, and pushed me when I wanted to quit.
He took me into his home, on multiple occassions, and helped to mend my broken spirit when I thought I had nothing left in the world.
Person 1 put up with me being flakey, unreliable, self obsessed while I went through a painful breakup. And was STILL there for me at 2am to make milkshakes and watch Greys Anatomy until the wee hours of the morning, once I was finally ready for human contact.

I will never forget drinking until the wee hours of the night, making terrible website designs (which - at the time - we thought were fantastic) and singing and dreaming and just BEING.
I will never forget the feeling of complete disbelief, anger and rage the first time I heard anyone speak out negatively about something that I had just come to accept as part of who he was -- as much as his hair colour or favorite ice cream flavour were. To this day nobody has spoken ill of him infront of me and gotten away with it.

I have never been more comfortable in my own skin than I have been with Person 1.
I would never have made it this far in life, without Person 1.
I will never love another person the way I love Person 1.

Below are just a few memories of Person 1. Ahahahaha. If you haven't already guessed it's about to become completely and utterly clear. I love you James, from the depths of my soul. <3 oox.

xx. A.