Disclaimer: Please don't get offended if you commit any of the crimes 1-10 and are on my friends list. The majority of these things only annoy me if I'm already in a bad mood [which, granted, happens a lot... lol] and really it's not up to you or anyone else to censor yourself on your own Facebook. This is just a bit of a rant to help me stay sane.. :P
Anyway, without further ado:
10 reasons I freaking abhor Facebook:
1. The millions and zillions of updates by my cousins/younger people on my friends list/people in general who seem to have nothing better to do that are simply them "liking" things like -- "Like this status if your name starts with A, C, D, E, F, G, K, L, N, O, P, V, W, X, Y, Z" or "I hate that I love you", or something equally as stupid/frustrating.
2. The updates by new parents/not working parents who seem to think everyone on their friends list cares that their child has pooped 3 times, today.
3. Invites to causes like "Stop Child Abuse in Australia". Don't get me wrong, child abuse disgusts me but HOW THE FORK does me joining a group on Facebook do anything but spam and annoy the people on my friends list?
4. The emo status updates that go down like this: "I'm so sad and lonely, goddamn, nobody loves me. Comment or text me if you actually give a damn about me." I'm sorry, but even if I DID give a damn if you killed yourself [I don't] I wouldn't text or comment you except maybe to call you a sad, stupid little girl/boy. Blatant attention seeking like this leads me to believe that you need to be slapped, not rewarded. It'd be like patting a dog after it peed on my bed. I'm sorry you're sad, really I am - we've all been there - but things like "comment or text if you actually give a damn about me"? Damn, girl.. you need to be less of a Stephen King psychopath.
5. While we're on the topic of emo status updates, anything talking about how bad your life is. I'm sorry, but when you're healthy, employed/going to school, living at home with practically no expenses whatsoever -- your life is awesome and you need to grow the fork up and stop being such a spoilt, unappreciative brat. Don't get me wrong, I've made my fair share of emo posts in my time but I've also had Cancer.. so I think my emo was well deserved.
6. Any photo with poorly photoshopped motos/sayings/lyrics on them. I'm sorry but really, people? And if you absolutely MUST do it, for the love of god at least get the your/you're or their/there/they're you're using right! FFS!
7. Mass Messages. I do not give a damn what the reason for it is, I don't want it. I don't care if I could win $1,000,000.00 from reading it, it isn't worth the next 5 weeks of facebook notifications that are simply stupid people replying saying "oh that's great, btw how are you?" or something along those lines that I frankly don't give a flying fork about.
8. "Secret" statuses. I don't care what colour your bra is, where you keep your bag or what your relationship status is. And by the way NOBODY ELSE DOES, EITHER. Posting the colour of your bra doesn't raise breast cancer awareness - it just makes you sound like a slut. Telling us where your bag is doesn't .. do whatever it was supposed to do.. it just makes you SOUND like a slut. And putting a random alcoholic beverage in your status to symbolise your relationship status is equally as stupid -- for one thing, we can SEE your relationship status in the details of your profile.. and for two, what does an alcoholic beverage of ANY kind have to do with ANYONES relationship status unless being-a-drunk-whore-and-going-home-with-anyone-who'll-have-you is included in there, as a nice little heads up to the guys on your facebook friends list. Seriously!
9. The awkwardness when someone you don't like/is friends with a friend of yours/your parents/brothers/whatever but you don't really KNOW them, adds you. I feel super bad saying no to the request but at the same time I don't actually give a damn about them and now I'm going to have to listen to them do things-I-hate 1-8 everyday, over and over..
10. The fact that facebook is freaking addictive. I could get rid of all the above annoyances if I just left facebook or deleted the people who commit crimes 1-9... but I'm so curious! I'd rather know about the evil than leave and wonder.. it's like a train wreck.. it's horrible and gory and people are screaming and dying all over the place, but I can't.. look.. . away. GAH.
xx. A.
4 comments:
LOL I love it. I agree with everything, except maybe the last one – although I admit Facebook was addictive, it's lost a lot of appeal for me – rather than comment on Facebook, I tend to generally ignore it these days. It's funny in that regard, because people who I get along fine with in real life infuriate me on Facebook a lot of the time.
I think facebook will lose its appeal for me as I get better, at the moment I'm definitely feeling better than I had been but I still spend a lot of time on the computer.
I -COMPLETELY- agree that some people can be perfectly fine to talk to and be around in real life, but complete jerks and/or annoying as all hell on FB.. I have several friends I want to strangle on a regular basis, but when we hang out I have lots of fun and it's all good..
oh god (or something) love your honesty amy! xoxoxox
i am afraid i am a sinner myself inregards to my babys but i dont very often talk about their bowel movements :)
I agree with you, but the mass messages a lot of time happen because the person that sent it got hacked and it spammed the link to everyone on their list. I've been hacked a few times and the first time I was hacked a spam link was posted to half of my friends' walls
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