Magical Teleporting Teeth. You read it right. MAGIC.

So, for the first time in god only knows how long, I went to the dentist yesterday. Dentists are people I've always had a weird sort of fear of, not because of the drills or the yanking of teeth or the weird gloves and face masks.. just because I always feel like they're judging me. Better than me because I might forget to brush before bed, and because I don't really understand flossing [though I try, valiantly!] and it really does seem like such a simple concept but seriously HOW the FUCK does it work? And god knows why else.

Anyway this fear led to years and years of me avoiding them and getting more and more fearful because of course, the longer I didn't go, the worse I thought my teeth were getting. I was quite literally shaking while sitting in the waiting room.

Enter Trent the Dentist. Trent the Dentist was the nicest, most laid back [and yet professional - you don't want a casual dentist fucking with your teeth in the same way you don't want a casual beautician waxing your girly bits] guy I've met in a super long time. For one, obviously, he asked me to call him by his first name. He was super friendly and made a bunch of stupid jokes that made me feel instantly more comfortable, and on top of that, he seemed to have a genuine love for what he was doing and took the time to explain it as he went, so there was no scary instruments or fingers coming at me out of the blue.

Basically it was the greatest medical experience I've had in my life, and lets face it, I've had a damned lot of those. 

Anyway meeting Trent the Dentist was not the greatest part of this visit. Finding out that I have MAGICAL FUCKING TEETH was the greatest part. Magical Teeth, you ask, how can teeth be magical, Amy? Well, dear reader, let me explain. The last time I saw a dentist was because my wisdom teeth were starting to break through and were pressing on my back teeth and causing me a HUGE amount of pain. However, old-dentist was freaking expensive and I couldn't afford to have them removed, so he just gave me a pain prescription and I went on my merry way, drinking liberally to make the meds work faster/better.

5 or so years later I go to meet Trent the Dentist and he asks about my wisdoms. I mention I think they went back down because they hadn't caused me any trouble in ages, he looks confused and orders an xray. Xray completed... MY WISDOM TEETH ARE GONE. VANISHED. LITERALLY NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. Magical teleporting teeth. Trent the Dentist even ordered additional Xrays and an OCG [whatever that is] under the assumption that maybe the first one had missed something. Nope. I just have MAGICAL FUCKING TEETH. My wisdom teeth teleported from my head -- I don't know where to -- maybe they're living it up on a beach in Hawaii somewhere right now, talking about the old days when they'd torture me while I tried to sleep.

And you thought YOU were cool.. Psh. 

xx. A.