10 Reasons I Suck At Being A Girlfriend

Lots of people commented that the man I described in my last post didn't exist - that he was perfect and I expect too much and surely I don't think I'M that perfect.

I don't expect that any one man will fulfil criteria 1-10, and I know that even if he did the chances of him wanting to be with ME would be incredibly slim since I don't tick all those boxes, myself. I figured maybe I would make a post to show that I don't think I'm perfect - I know I have flaws. The last post was just a bit of a laugh, something to think about, you know?

Anyway, no holds barred, here we go:



10 Reasons I Suck At Being A Girlfriend

1. I'm a firm believer in double standards [mine, not yours].

2. I'm incredibly self conscious. Don't try to play or joke around about my looks or my personality or my job, my life, anything really, because I will take it personally and we will fight. That said, it's perfectly okay for me to make fun/play tease about your life/job/looks/penis. See point one for detail.

3. I hate conflict. I will flat out ignore you to avoid having an argument. That said, if you push me too far and keep nagging/yelling/talking it will eventually tip me over the edge, I'll lose control and yell and become completely unreasonable.

4. I hate sharing a bed. I like to sleep cocooned up in the blankets, completely tucked in on all sides. This isn't possible when sharing a bed with someone. I also like to sleep on my side, cuddling a pillow. The pillow cannot be replaced with a person. If I can't sleep exactly as described, I'll be ... crabby.

5. I'm the opposite of a housewife. I hate to cook, I abhor cleaning, I don't take any pride whatsoever in the presentation of my home. In my last apartment I had lived there for over a year and never hung a single photo or made a single attempt to personalise the house whatsoever. A house is somewhere you go after work to eat and sleep, nothing more.

6. Most of my friends are guys. I don't see a problem with that. I'm naturally a fairly flirty person so sometimes a guy will get the wrong idea and develop feelings for me. I won't stop talking to them, I'll just wait for them to get over it. I will get shitty at you if you bring this up. All that said, I will be incredibly uncomfortable with you having female friends. Please see point one for detail.

7. I love my family. My family will always be more important than you ever could be. I will always prioritise them over you.

8. I will ignore you until I want attention, and at that point, I want it immediately. I will expect you to drop whatever you are doing in order to spend time with me, until I get bored at which point you can feel free to leave. Immediately.

9. I dislike being touched. I can handle the occasional hug but don't try to hold my hand or snuggle up to me. Don't invade my personal space, it's very important to me.

10. I'm never wrong. Anything that ever goes wrong is your fault. You started every argument. You caused every conflict. You left the light on. You didn't lock the door. Etc, etc.



So there you have it. There's lots of things I cut out because they overlapped other reasons, but mostly I just think 10 is a good number for "reasons" posts. If I was going to put just one more in there I'd probably have "11. I know all of the above and I don't make any real attempt to change it/improve". Which, lets face it, is worse than having all of those faults in the first place.

Anyway, I'm home sick with a head cold [again -- damn you terrible immune system] so I'm going to curl up and watch some TV or maybe do some reading/get some sleep. Hope you're all well!

xx. A.