Topic #367- Discuss the effect of fear on your life.
I have feared many things.
I have feared the dark, heights, the Beast from Beauty and the Beast, men who raise their voices, the ocean [or more specifically not being able to see what's in there], dogs outside of their owners yards and spiders of any shape, size or origin. I have feared being different, flying, being forgotten, falling in love - and in turn - being loved. I have feared growing attached, growing comfortable. I have feared consequences.
I have feared doctors, hospitals, test results. I have feared pain. I have feared death.
Because of fear I have ended relationships, partnerships, friendships.
Because of fear I sleep with a nightlight, or door open.
Because of fear I am reluctant to meet new people, to try new things.
Because of fear I backspace more than I type - it feels - and struggle to express myself.
I have feared many things, but I try not to let it stop me from doing what needs to be done [for very long, anyway...]. Fear is something that can either paralyse, or motivate. Fear is something that needs to be grabbed by the balls and owned, because otherwise it takes control and once that happens it's so much harder to gain the upper hand.
Fear is necessary -- like pain. Fear is there to tell you to be careful because something could go wrong. But again, like pain, fear can trigger an overreaction. Fear is a factor in my life - but a minor one, the same as considering the weather and taking an umbrella before I leave the house if it's cloudy outside.
... for all my ranting about how fear being necessary but needs to be controlled, I'm never ever ever going outside in the dark by myself. Ever. iPhone flashlight application for life!
xx. A.
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